


Forget Me Not

by marlena_darling



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Gen, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, Mild Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:30:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marlena_darling/pseuds/marlena_darling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every couple has their problems, and time only makes that more obvious.</p><p>Inspired by Just Give Me a Reason by Pink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Val_Creative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/gifts).



> This is based off of the plot of a roleplay between a friend and I, so some of the plot and added details won't make sense to people who aren't in the know.

Over time, the world grayed. The little things lost their touch, those moments that were once new and unfamiliar became routine. At some point, the fear that came with the unknown of a world he didn't know became a little less terrifying. Three years had passed since Arthur pulled himself out of the lake, and his time in Avalon was long put behind him. 

Instead of Arthur Pendragon, king of Camelot, he was Arthur Penn, Knight of Warwick. During the hours of 9 to 5, of course. 

Life had changed quite a bit in such a short time, and Arthur's mind spun a little each time he tried to think back. In the past three years he had aged two thousand years, raised a baby dragon, and kept Merlin in control of the power and responsibility that came with it. They had also begun to bring back magic to the world, and Arthur had seen and experienced more than he had ever imagined, even during the time that magic was more than legend. 

Lost long friends had reappeared, friendships had blossomed and strengthened, and relationships had taken steps into bigger commitment. Arthur had attended three weddings in just the past two years, even if Merlin and himself had never gone past their knot ceremonies themselves. 

The impossible had happened to him and those around him, but there was still so much to do. Old habits die hard, and now that he was busy, it was easy for Arthur to slip into the same mindset he used to when he was busy running a kingdom. Work began to come first. 

He didn't see it, really, when he started helping others with their shifts. Natalie had the trebuchet to learn to run and didn't have time to play around with the sword demonstration with Liam. So, Arthur had volunteered. It only added another hour or so to his shift. Then the weekend jousting exhibits needed to be organized, and somehow, that task was given to him. So of course, he was needed there other days of the week. 

At first it had been unfortunate, and Arthur had wondered if he could find a way to get out of it. But Merlin had encouraged it, and after a week or two he had come to like the new lineup. 

Merlin was busy, too. With the new surge of magic returning and reemerging, the warlock was left with the duty of trying to keep it all in line and in control. He had Druid tribes to speak to, and the dragons and other creatures took up his time as well. He had the job of making sure they knew to stay hidden, at least until the time was right. Arthur wasn't sure there was a tight time. He had begun to work with Morgana too, to see how much of her abilities had followed her into the life she was on now. 

Both had responsibilities, but now at this point in their life, those responsibilities were not each other. 

Arthur found himself staying later and longer, and when he was not at Warwick, he was with Bayard training the new employees or on special request calls. There were weeks where Arthur saw more of his boss than he did his partner. After a while, that became normal. He was used to spending the days with him and the others, and during the nights he knew Merlin was away with one of the other friends he'd find himself at the pub with them all. 

Life was becoming a routine, but it wasn't the one Arthur had imagined years before when they sat by the fireplace, curled into each other on the couch. 

That hardly happened anymore. They said goodbye in the morning, and when Arthur came home they ate dinner together and lounged around. But every night dinner turned into every other night, and soon enough was whenever both happened to be home at the same time. 

The problem went unnoticed for months, because in Arthur's mind, there was no problem. There was no /time/ for problems. It didn't help that Arthur had coursework to add to the mix. College had been Lance's idea. Arthur needed a way to catch up, so he knew and understood the time he lived in. While he knew how most things worked, his serious lack of history and understanding of the past and present references had caused problems more than once. He had started out easy, using some online homeschooling program thanks to Charlie, who hacked into the system and built him an account (which had taken some serious excuse making and a lot of sucking up), but now he was onto university levels. 

Most nights Arthur would come home from work, and as soon as dinner was done he'd retreat into the library to do his work until he turned in for the evening. Merlin had helped him at first, answered anything he was still confused on and helped him cheat his way through the papers, but after a while he was distracted with his own devices. More than once a week, one of them would be in bed and near asleep by the time the other crawled in next to them. 

It was one of those nights that Arthur was suddenly made aware of just how vast the distance between them had grown. 

There had been a demonstration late into the night at Warwick, and afterwards Arthur had tagged along with Bayard to check the weapons that had been used during it. They were in desperate need of new equipment, so there was always a chance of something breaking. The man was intelligent and incredibly bright, so Arthur always tried to pick his brain about the subjects he was going over in his Warfare Through the Ages course, of anything else that came to mind. He treated Arthur like an equal, despite his sometimes serious lack of information, which Arthur appreciated. Bayard could see he wasn't just brawn. Before he knew it he was at the pub, one drink already down before he even spared a look at his phone. Half eleven. 

It was over an hour later by the time he was slipping into the cottage door, the house dark and quiet. He shucked his jacket and shoes, dropping them in their spots before heading quietly into the bedroom. Arthur stopped to feed Gaius, who was rubbing impatiently at his legs the moment he heard the door open. As he stood from his crouched position next to the cat's food bowl Arthur glanced at the couch, catching sight of the blanket lying limp over the back. This was probably the first time in ages that it hadn't taken advantage of his back being turned. His lips pursed briefly before Arthur dismissed padded towards the bedroom, forgetting about it the moment he was inside. He was out of his clothes in a few moments, being sure to keep quiet as he moved around as to not wake up the still form on the bed. Soon enough he was sliding under the covers, his arms folding behind his pillow as he stared up at the dark ceiling above him. 

The bed was cold. There was a body near him, but it wasn't next to him. Arthur could lay his arms to his sides and still wouldn't touch Merlin, he assumed. He felt as if there might as well be an empty space separating their sides of the bed. Arthur turned his head, staring at the mop of black hair contrasting against the shadow of a white pillow. His fingers twitched, but he didn't move. 

They were so separate, and not just now. Arthur had a job an hour away while Merlin stayed close to town, if he wasn't away or out for a few days in the forest discussing with some form of magical species. Arthur had stopped going with him at some point, but he wasn't quite sure when. He wasn't as nervous about it as he used to be. Arthur had college and Merlin had his herbs and medical practice. Arthur had coworkers that he spent time with after work, aside from their usual and original group of friends. Hell, they even had separate bank accounts, seeing as Merlin had the money stored and it made it easier for Arthur to access. They could very well be living different lives, but were strangers sharing a bed. 

Arthur couldn't remember the last time they had gone out just the two of them when there were no other expectations. Merlin hadn't teased him about anything in the past week.

Arthur didn't know the last time he had told him he loved him. 

Thoughts along those lines plagued him for a good while. It wasn't easy, or settling, but Arthur did finally manage to fall asleep. He woke up facing the window and when he rolled over, was greeted with an empty bed. The stirring in his stomach was less than pleasant. 

Hauling himself out of bed, Arthur shuffled his way to the kitchen after pulling on the sweats kept in the drawer closest to the bed. He ran a hand through his hair as he went, sidling up to the coffee maker. Arthur side eyed Merlin, who was at the counter next to him pouring milk into his cereal, and after a moment Arthur mumbled a groggy, "Mornin'". 

Merlin glanced over with a smile, but Arthur couldn't tell if he imagined the tightness to the corners or not.  
"Good morning." he answered, then turned and sat at the island, one of his books flying off the shelf to open in front of him. Arthur watched him for a moment before grabbing his coffee mug and heading for the library, deciding to finish up the reading he had to do. 

The next few days passed about the same, and Arthur found that he was beginning to send Merlin second glances, questioning every silly little thing that didn't feel /right/. This wasn't them. They didn't sit in silence, or stay on separate ends of the house. They joked and fought, argued over every pointless little thing just for the sake of it. They drove each other insane. 

They weren't...this. 

Arthur tried. He poked and prodded, asking aimless questions during the prolonged silences about what Merlin had been doing. Most were pointless attempts at small talk. It never went anywhere, not really, and it just frustrated Arthur more. When they went out with the group, the pair of them were never quite together. There was always someone else in the middle. Arthur knew he could possibly be the only one noticing, that maybe he was just imagining it. He wanted to be imagining it.  
It was a problem without reason, and the solution should have been easier to find than it was. 

He was distracted at work. Natalie was able to actually knock him down a few times during shows, for the first time in his career there. Arthur didn't get further than the first few pages in his reading before shutting the text books in exasperation. Even Gaius seemingly could tell, and the cat spent time sharing his seat as if knowing Arthur wouldn't turn him away. 

Then one night, Arthur was woken up by a sudden jolt on the other side of the bed, the motion jarring enough to startle him awake. He turned over, groggy eyes narrowed when he saw Merlin sitting up. He looked tense, his eyes wide as his eyes darted around, and Arthur made a tired noise as he scrubbed at his eyes. "Merlin?" 

Almost instantly Merlin looked over, but the expression on his face made Arthur stop. He looked confused, lost even, and there was no recognition staring back at him. The warlock's lips parted slowly, as if words wouldn't form. "...Who are you?" 

Instantly, Arthur's heart sunk. He hadn't had an episode in a while, not since he apparently found a solution to help keep his mind intact. Arthur had hoped these were over. He swallowed roughly, his throat dry as he pulled himself up into sitting position. 

"Merlin, it's me." Arthur said calmly, his voice low and gentle as he kept their eyes locked. "Arthur. You know me." 

Merlin's brow drew together, his head slowly beginning to shake. "No, no I don't think..." 

"Merlin." Arthur said again, this time emphasizing his name as he reached out. The other man didn't have time to react before the blond had his hands covered with his own, Arthur's gaze intent. "I need you to remember me. Think back. Remember Camelot? I was the prince, and you were my manservant. You worked in the castle for years." 

The expression did not change, and Arthur felt the surge of panic rush into his chest. Every time this happened, each time Merlin lost himself in the centuries of memories he had built up, Arthur was terrified. Each time there was a chance Merlin would wake up with no idea who Arthur was, and he never would again. His breath caught in his throat as he squeezed Merlin's hands tighter. "I'm your partner, Merlin. Now, in 2015. We live in this cottage near the lake of Avalon. You waited here for me." Arthur paused, wetting his lips. "Remember Tiamat? Charlie, Gilda? We were at their wedding a few months back." 

Merlin's breath was ragged as he continued to shake his head, his hands trying to pull away as he dropped his gaze, his own panic rising. "I don't-" 

Arthur shook his head, his heart racing in his ears as he moved closer. "Please. You can't forget. I need you, Merlin. Call me a dollaphead and remember where you are." 

His voice was shaking, near a plea as he watched Merlin freeze. The other man went rigid, his head still turned away. Arthur was afraid to breath. But finally Merlin looked up, bright blue eyes visible even in the darkness. In the faint moonlight they glistened with unshed tears, his expression morose, but almost in the present. "Arthur," he breathed, pale hands gripping his own. "Where have you been?" 

It was in that moment that Arthur felt his heart shatter, and the barriers of worry he had built up fell to pieces with it. He had been so thick and foolish for so long, but now he realized. It didn't matter what the problem was, or who was the one being distant. There was nothing more than what he was building up in his mind, and he very well could have risked everything they had on paranoia. He couldn't let this go on any longer. 

"I'm sorry." He managed, his own eyes prickling as he pulled Merlin in. The smaller body curled in tightly, latching to him like the day he had to his hand after their first real fight. Arthur clung just as tightly, one hand running up his back while the other pressed into Merlin's hair as he buried his head in the king's neck. "I'm here. I'm not leaving, I promise." 

Merlin gave a choked noise and a weak nod in response, but said nothing else. Arthur figured there was nothing he could say anything. Quiet words of comfort rolled off his tongue, most of it not reaching his own ears. All Arthur knew was that he kept apologizing. He wasn't going anywhere anymore; Arthur couldn't let himself forget about what was important. Not when he could lose what truly mattered at any time. 

Arthur woke up first the next morning, the smaller frame still attached to his side as the sunlight peeked through the window. He managed to untangle himself from an exhausted Merlin, and Arthur slipped out into the living room. He had made his decision, and he was going to stick to it. 

Holding his cell phone to his ear, Arthur waited impatiently until the tone was cut short by Bayard's gruff voice. "It's six in the morning, Pendragon." 

Ignoring what was thought of as his 'stage' name for work, Arthur pursed his lips. "Sir, I'm calling in my vacation days on short notice. I won't be in this week." 

There was a long pause, but then a weary sigh echoed through his speaker. "I'll have Will take your shift. I'll see you next Monday." 

"Thank you, sir." Arthur hung up, and after a moment took a deep breath. He looked around the house which suddenly seemed too unfamiliar for his liking, then headed to start making breakfast. There changes he was going to have to make, and he was going to start early.

Merlin managed to drag himself out of bed a few hours later, his eyes heavy and his head throbbing. All he really wanted was to wash the unpleasant feeling tear stains off his face and get a cup of coffee, but when he exited the bedroom, he was stopped in his tracks by Arthur. 

"Arthur-" he started to mumble in confusion, but he was cut off when Arthur put his hands on either side of Merlin's face and dragged him in, crushing his lips against his. He couldn't remember the last time they kissed like this, but he wasn't one to complain.

When Arthur finally pulled away, slowly, their foreheads stayed pressed together. Warm breath ghosted against damp lips as half-hooded eyes watched each other, Merlin's expression one of blissful perplexion. 

"What was that for?" He asked wryly, mouth turning up in the corner. "Is it my birthday?" 

"I love you." Arthur answered seriously, and the tone softened Merlin's face. The king stroked a gentle thumb over his cheek, swallowing as he took in the details on the man before him. "I love you so impossibly much and I realize how terrible I've been at showing it. But I'm not going anywhere." 

Merlin's smile stretched, his eyes bright and full of light, and finally a shaky chuckle left him as the smile bloomed into a grin. "I love you, dollaphead." 

The second kiss was even sweeter.


End file.
